CutieLiz

Don't message people online for personal details about other people they possibly know, and don't act like you deserve to know shit just because you know their names.
There's being angry, and there's being rude- just like actual subliminal messages and the ones that people are fucking straight up wrong about.

And honestly, I hate the rude. If y'all are gonna come to me to ask me personal fucking details about people when I have no idea who you are- you have no indicating factors of your trust, or intimacy levels with the person you're asking account- Nah bruh. GTFO right the fuck now.

ANYWAYS. On to Newer and Greener Passages- my premium account is up in September, so two more months of ad-free doing stuff, and then I'm taking Hiatus from here. I would normally just go for it now, but I'm only going to be posting to my Art Tumblr.

I do have commissions open- not that that's ever encouraged anyone to get one LOL

Okay, so in my Therian/Otherkin Pack, I'm the 'Runner' so you could say. I say 'my' because I'm a part of it, similar to saying 'my' family, even if I'm not specifically therian/otherkin myself.
and tbh, I don't really know what I am, besides the simple affirmation 'I am not Human.'
I think about this a lot, and as it is, too many people jump to conclusions without soul-searching for what they could be. A simple 'I'm a wolf' tends to escape the lips of people who might not in fact be a wolf- I know I'm not because I've never had any connection to them, nor many other fascinating beings in reality, past reality, and fiction, or what-have you. Sure, 'past the stars and beyond the moon' has always been a line to stick with me, but I'm not a bloodthirsty talking plant, now am I? No. I do not do photosynthesis though I have known people who claimed they could, but that was in elementary and they didn't eat (at school at least) for three weeks and got really thin and then were put on some diet that got force fed to them and it was kinda scary. Still though, the point is.
Starseed- as explained to me by NatakuXeden seemed right on the money. 'Not from earth or terrestrial origin.' As I've interpreted it, it can encompass a large range of possibility. No, I'm not a fan of the idea of little green men, or tall gray scientists who poke and prod- nor even flying saucers. The idea of star-dust, shooting stars, burning masses of energy in space throwing light out into the universe in their long and usually solitary journey through nothing... That's what captivates my thoughts. Uncrowded, burning themselves out and occasionally lashing out upon nothing, exploding and collapsing and existing without any care at all. They provide light as a secondary effect- it's not their purpose.
Stars are seas of flame that are never still, restless and seething, magnetic and massive. They are beginning and ending constantly, and are so, so vast and full of discord. Constantly they are shooting fire and energy out into the nothingness and at a constant they are wonderful.
of course, that's just my thoughts on the matter, really. Once upon a time I shone bright and lasted for so long- and now I'm here, I suppose. I don't really know, just that this is where I am now, and I'm trying to find what used to be. Could be that I'm wrong, but that's why I'm such a fan of soul searching. Space is where I know I belong, I just need to understand what it was about it that held me there.

so for now, Starseed seems fine enough a term for me- because perhaps the stars hold my answers.

okay, so I have to apologize to everyone who tried to help me grow stuff this year
it's all dead.
the last one died just a bit ago, waking me up.
the fan that was in my window- put in by someone who was not me- fell on the last one, the little pre-grown plant that I had not killed with neglect yet.
and I cannot bring myself to clean it up
so he's just laying there, and I'm giving him a sidelong stare because what do I do?
I tried really hard with these, and some idiot who put a fan into my window wrong killed the last one
and I killed the rest of them by just being a shit plant parent.
I'm a horrible plant mother, and I'm glad boyfron has the green touch because obviously I have the touch of death and nothing's ever going to grow if I try to take care of it.
seriously why is it so cold these past couple days and why did someone put a fan in my window for them?
it seems a bit weird that for the coldest days in weeks someone would put in a fan, but they did, and I don't understand

Okay, so, first and foremost
hi, everyone, I love you all- thank you for taking the time to read this!

second of all
things are gonna be hectic for a while.
recent events have opened my eyes to doors of possibilities of events in my past which I've found I simply don't remember, and that being said, I don't know what's gonna be up with how I'm doing my art and all and whathaveyou- I know I've practically dropped off of dA since... what, November, ish? Around Christmas? I found stuffing for my life and got stuffed and ended up without much time to think about my art, or RP groups, and I think I've finally caught up with myself as far as coming back to that, but I have no idea. There's plenty of possibility I'm going to be in something of my own place soon- as soon as I could hope, doing something better (and closer) than what I'm doing for a job now. I actually have sent out a few resumes to places like nearby hospitals in search of a full-time night-shift cleaning sort of job, or sit-in babysitting for people who have issues being alone at night or something like that; a nice customer came into my convenience/gas store the other night (a lady who tends to come in whenever she gets lonely at home) was suggesting it and I thought hey- why  not give it a try? because that way I have much less to do with handling cash, yanno? I've also been urged to look into places like a nearby nature center where they have various things like a little shop and educational center on the local wildlife, which honestly if I could even just get a membership there I'm pretty sure I'd slim wayyyyyyy down in no time at all because of all the different paths on the grounds, some not even official!

My job now, of course, consists of the graveyard shift- meaning that the time I used to spend constantly on here with my groups is now being spent washing dishes, sweeping, and mopping floors- also straightening merchandise and whipping up milkshakes and other fun goodies! (because where I work is also an ice-cream parlour type place)  and I find that the 3rd shift at this 24 hour convenience store in the middle of no where is actually nice!
the problems with the job are that I can only work part time- less than 25 hours- and my wrists and hands have decided to wage war against me and shoot pain all the way to my shoulders when I grasp, lift, move the wrong way, or even have a breeze roll over my skin (some of that is exaggeration, but not by much.)
It's already been confirmed Carpal Tunnel- I went to a doctor and he stuck needles in my arms in varying places to see how the electricity got through between my nerves, and while he said he didn't really know what all the data meant since he was really just a technician (so I was told by him), he said he could very clearly tell that there was nerve damage in both sides- the left moreso than  the right, which was weird but after paying attention to how I use my hands I've found that it's not really that odd considering I use my left hand much more dominantly than my right despite using my right to write. I did go to a catholic school though, so that could be part of it, I might've been meant to be left handed but got it taught out of me? idk, I can't even really hold a pencil properly with my left hand though so might not be the case.


Anyway!
☆☆Be well!☆☆

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KIRIBAN COMPLETED!
CONGRATS CathyNoire!!